Valentine’s Day is often draped in red roses, chocolates, and grand gestures of love—but what about the love we owe ourselves? In the midst of celebrating relationships with others, we rarely pause to ask: Do I love myself the way I deserve? More often than not, the answer is complicated.

We talk about self-love, but do we truly practice it? Or do we keep pushing it aside, promising ourselves “someday” when the kids are older, when work slows down, when life is less chaotic? Somewhere along the way, we sacrifice bits and pieces of ourselves—our dreams, our rest, our voice—until we hardly recognize who we were before.

The Slow Erosion of Self

Grief and loss are not just about losing a loved one. They can be about losing ourselves. We give endlessly to others—partners, children, jobs, responsibilities—until there’s nothing left. The irony? We often do this out of love. We put others first, believing that’s what good people do. But in doing so, we forget a fundamental truth: Love is not meant to deplete us.

Like the oxygen mask theory on an airplane, we’re told to put our mask on first before assisting others. Yet in real life, we ignore this advice. We pour from an empty cup, hoping no one notices our exhaustion, loneliness, or quiet yearning for more.

Maybe we lost ourselves in a relationship where we gave more than we received. Maybe we buried our passions because they didn’t seem “practical.” Maybe we stopped prioritizing our health, our rest, our joy. Whatever the reason, the result is the same: We feel lost.

How Do We Go Up from Here?

If you’re reading this and feeling a pang of recognition, take a deep breath. You’re not alone. And more importantly, you’re not stuck here.

1. Acknowledge the Loss

Before we rebuild, we must acknowledge what has been lost. Grieve the version of yourself that you neglected. It’s okay to mourn the time you spent giving everything to others while forgetting yourself. But grief is not the end of the story—it’s the doorway to healing.

2. Reclaim Your Time and Energy

What would change if you put yourself on your own priority list? If you started saying no to things that drain you and yes to things that fill you? Reclaiming yourself doesn’t have to mean drastic changes. It can start small:

• Taking five minutes in the morning just for you.
• Setting boundaries that protect your peace.
• Revisiting an old hobby that made you feel alive.

3. Speak to Yourself with Love

Would you talk to a friend the way you talk to yourself? We often hold ourselves to impossible standards while offering endless grace to others. Practice speaking to yourself with the same kindness. Self-love starts with self-compassion.

4. Put Your Oxygen Mask On

Loving yourself is not selfish—it’s necessary. When we care for ourselves, we show up better in every area of our lives. We are better partners, parents, friends, and colleagues when we are whole. So this Valentine’s Day, let love be more than roses and chocolates. Let it be a commitment to yourself—to put your mask on first, to reclaim what was lost, and to rise.

Because no matter how far you feel from yourself, you can always go up from here.

Truest Reflections has you covered.  We will remind you of who you are and how to recognize your true brilliance, while showing you how to shine.

www.truestreflections. com