It is often intriguing and funny the choices we make in this life. The trade-offs we make when we
believe we are following our goals or chasing our dreams.
When I decided to go to school to become a therapist, it was pretty unprecedented as I was working full
time, and had a son at home. This is something I truly would not have attempted. It was hard work and
when I chose to start, I thought wow, what the heck was I doing this for. Halfway through the course,
my personal life was taking a shit-kicking and I had to find some kind of spot where I could manage all of
the emotions, tasks and do my best to keep it together. By the time I finished, I was more aware and
thanking the good Lord for keeping me above water for the duration it took to navigate everything going
on. I am very grateful for finishing, but there ended up being a few trade-offs during that time.
When I realized what was important and how to put those people or things forward as the priority, life
worked a little bit better. However, I kept coming back to what have I done and really, could I do this?
That year showed me something both familiar and new. Growth was about trying something, and not
just toes in. Growth was something I wanted, and I wanted to learn about it and spread it around. I
wanted everyone to know what I was learning. It was personal and deep and humbling and hard to
acknowledge and experience. However, the choice I took to keep moving ahead shocked me. Those
closest to me would say, they never had a doubt that this would be great for me, nor did they ever
doubt that I would finish and completely be successful in this. I did, however.
Choosing something hard after a particularly emotionally tough divorce and personal life situations, was
particularly scary. I even thought I was going through a bit of a midlife crisis. At the age of 45 shouldn’t
we have our ‘stuff’ together and life all handled. At this age, shouldn’t I have had the family, career and
life track moving along nicely…no bumps in the road or at least only a few potholes?
Once I made this choice so many things shifted and changed in my life. My perspective, my belief
system, the people I chose to have around me, the situations I would choose to put myself into. It
almost felt grown up. So, this is what adulting looks like. Man alive, I believe I am adulting. What had I
been doing the years previous to this? I can tell you, surviving. Focusing on the fires, on the non-
negotiables, chasing friendships and relationships, truly learning how to just survive. Once I chose to
change that, I started to unlearn surviving and learned how to trust myself and thrive even with the
little things. Priorities changed to be more harmonious with my values. My values, not anyone else’s.
It doesn’t matter at what age, you switch gears or tracks, perhaps it really is the time when the old ways
no longer work for us and it is time to grab that bull by the horns and do what is best for us. Maybe it is
truly time to choose us.
Because this is a hard concept for many, I would be happy to help you determine what is best and put
that into place. I’d be honoured to work with you. Feel free to reach out, truestreflections@gmail.com.
We can do this together. I have walked the road and I know I can help.